A poem about my unrealistic expectations of myself

The Person I Want to be

 

I want to be the pretty girl

The outgoing girl

The funny girl

The girl everyone talks about,

For the right reasons.

 

I want to be the smart girl,

The party girl

The laid back girl

 

I want to be your girl

Because that’s what’s expected

 

I crave acceptance

Attention

Glorification.

 

From who?

You

 

You on the street

On the bus

Looking at your phone screen

 

I want you to like me!

 

Love me.

Crave me.

Favourite me.

Envy me.

Want to be, me.

 

I want to be different

Unique

I want to be ME

 

Yet here I am

Judging myself

Comparing myself

To “that’ girl.

 

This fictional perfection

This obsession

 

I am an insecure girl

An anxious girl

A bookish girl

 

The girl anyone can contact

At three in the morning.

 

I am the opinionated girl

The introverted girl

The high strung girl.

 

I want to be my girl.

 

Because that’s the least I

Can do.

 

For who?

Me

 

Me who pressed a razor to my wrist

Me who cried to a therapist

Me who stuck my fingers down my throat

 

I want me to like me!

 

Love me.

Cherish me.

Comfort me.

Appreciate me.

 

Want to be, me.

 

I am a girl, who wants to be the best version of, me.

 

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