I’ve talked about the things that I’ve done BECAUSE of my combined anxiety and depression but I wanted to also tell all you lovely readers about the things I do in SPITE of my silly little brain.
1.Survived GCSEs and College/BTEC.
I came out of compulsory education quite successful even with the loss of family members and probably undiagnosed anxiety and depression. I may wish that I had better GCSE grades at the time of results day but now looking back I know that I did my absolute best considering my situation. Maybe, even better then most people would have. My time at College studying Performing Arts taught me to talk to my teachers and that my illness made me a lot stronger than others and that my work ethic was part of that.
2.Strayed from the plan.
I’m a stickler for schedules and plans even when it came to my life and when it didn’t go the way I had planned it was very upsetting. However, over the last three years or so I have begun to feel less anxiety when it comes to going a different path then the majority or the silly way that I was told life was meant to go.
3.Tried putting myself first and understanding my limits whilst not feeling guilty.
It’s hard for me to feel like I deserve love from myself but I’ve slowly become better. The biggest way I’ve done this is understanding that I have limits. I get tired very easily when it comes to working and having to leave my safe space constantly so I make sure not to push myself too much. This is okay because if I didn’t understand my limits and wasn’t putting my health first it would lead to longer depressive episodes or bad days.
4.Talked about mental health.
I have found something within my illness that interests me. I love learning about the progression of our understanding of mental illness and the effects of pop culture on societies beliefs about mental illness and other subjects.
5.Apply and get accepted to my top university!
This happened recently and I’m so happy. Plus I kind of really needed it. leaving London and going to live ‘on my own’ is going to be a struggle but the fact I am doing it is enough.
6.Go back to college.
the choice to return to college to do a subject I haven’t done since secondary school in a year. I nearly walked away at one point but I kept going and now I’m doing my best.
7.Aversion Therapy son!
For me, some of the best breakthroughs in my anxiety riddled brain have been when I’ve pushed myself to do some anxiety-inducing things. Not the kind of things that will give me panic attacks or take me to far into the dark. But, small stuff that I would usually avoid because it was a bit easier.
8.Started and maintained a blog and continue to progress in positive ways.
Starting NancyLostinLife has been terrifying, exhausting and amazing! I love blogging, I love the community and I love the possibilities. I continue to learn new things and get better at being a blogger.
9.Make lovely, supportive friends.
I’ve lost and gained friends a lot but The ones that stick around are great and it did take me some pushing to be social and find these people as well as let them into my space.
10.Learned to communicate.
Communication has become a very important part of my life and I believe it to be a key skill for life. Any relationship needs good communication. I talk to my teachers and manager at work about my mental health and the importance of looking after myself in my ability to be the best at both schools and my workplace.
I continue and will continue to fight the good fight and yes it may ‘get better’ but this could take years but I’m still doing it. I’m a few months clean of self harm, I threw away my supplies, I take steps every day to kick my stupid brains chemically imbalanced arse!
Feel free to leave some comments on things you’ve done it spite of anything.
Thanks for reading,